I was hoping today would be better!

Today is day 3 post chemo! I was hoping to escape the side effects but I think they have a really big hold on me. The body aches is what is really getting me! I ache from my head, to my neck and shoulders, down to my toes. It's almost as if the flu bug has bit me and bit me hard. I am beginning to get little red bumps on my tongue which are making my mouth hurt too. Guess I should lay off my fresh, lemon water a bit. That could create a problem. Emotionally.... today has not been a great day. I woke up from my nap and I saw my kids for the first time, in what feels like 10 years. I feel like I haven't been able to spend a single minute with them and I feel like a bad mom. Everyone keeps telling me that "it's okay, they know you love them and that you're sick." That doesn't make it any easier, unfortunately. Lots of negative thoughts keep flowing back to my brain and I'm trying really hard, but sometimes, I just don't know. Jon has been keeping it together, and I'm not sure how? What did I ever do to deserve such a great, supportive, handsome, loving, husband and father? Sometimes I wonder! But he loves me and I'm so grateful for him, everyday. I'll try to update in a few days... if I'm feeling up to it. Thank you again for all the love and support!